...and now it hits me...

I've missed quite a few days of updates now, and I have so much I want to show you in words, but today I just need to share with you how much I need your prayers. Yesterday, I sat in Little India and wondered, "How did I get here?" I had a wonderful time of prayer that morning with a beautiful sweet Indian woman who prayed over me and spoke truth into my life and encouraged me more than she will ever know. I then walked quite a few blocks with Katie in search of french fries, which was a successful quest (2 jr cheeseburgers, fries, and a medium drink for 5 bucks...WIN.)

But I sat outside that afternoon looking around and seeing Hindus, Muslims, Jews, and Christians all around me, having known the person next to me for only a week, and having known no one else in the area for more than a day. I wasn't sure how or when exactly I was going home, I understood none of the languages being spoken around me, I'd been in church for like 12 hours the previous day, and would be spending the day at a community college the following day. And I was overwhelmed! I was happy there, but...wow! How far I'd come from home just over a week earlier. It is already a common practice for me to remove my shoes when entering a home or worship area, to drink chai or whatever else is offered to me, and to speak in a really really strange combo of southern, illinois, and broken English.

While all of this is really not a problem for me- in fact, I love almost all of it- something just has not felt right since I arrived here. I'm still working on figuring out what exactly that is. Perhaps I formed expectations without realizing it. I'm a pretty flexible person, and I usually just don't predict much of what will happen, but perhaps there have been some unrealized expectations for the summer that I need to put aside. I do know that my quiet times are suffering, and I hate that. We still have no routine, which has been really difficult for me. Though I don't mind things being crazy, at some point it does begin to wear on me, and not having a schedule makes planning impossible.

I also feel stretched in so many ways. I am not concentrating on one or two areas of ministry/missions; instead I am doing a different form of missions every day of the week. Mondays are Little India or a day spent with Scott, and business meetings/classes at night. Tuesdays are COD in the day and team fun night in the evenings. Wednesdays are kid's club all day, once it actually begins, and Karen youth group all evening. Thursdays are Little India or a day with Scott-whichever I didn't do Monday- and ESL classes in the evening if I've been with Scott. Fridays I'm still uncertain about, but in the evenings I think we have a class of some sort. Sundays are American youth SS, International SS, lunch, Nepali church, and house church. Saturdays, we have "off," but Nepalis have been encouraged to invite us over, and some Saturdays are already planned events such as the campout this saturday and ESL training and such.

While all of this is wonderfully educational, I'm worried about having time for relationships with people. I met a guy at COD today that I'd like to get to know and such, but I will never have the time or ability to do so (we also have no personal transportation). I would love to invite a Karen girl out for coffee or to the park, but when can I do that? If the Nepalis invite me over, will I have the ability to get to their home and the energy to invest in them? I know some of these are obstacles that cannot really be avoided, and that all those in ministry face. A day is only so long, and a person can only do so many things. I know this. I have faced this problem before, to an extent. But I have always had more control over where and when I was free. I had the ability to skip class, to go to dinner, to drive someone to Wal-Mart. I don't have that here. It's a huge thing for me to lose so much independence. I am really struggling with that right now.

So all of this to say, I need your prayers. I see that more than ever, now. I knew the summer would be tough, and I'm not at all giving up or wishing to leave. I don't even think that this will be the hardest point. But I see much more now the specific ways in which I need someone to be praying for me. So please pray, friends. Join me in my battle to be less selfish and self-reliant. Lift me to our Father as I figure out what I still am just not fully grasping.

Giving thanks for each of you,

Allison