missing you

As much as I am okay with being alone a lot, I get really lonely sometimes when I'm home. I think because I just don't feel like I belong here. It's so tempting for me to text people, call people, chat with people, etc. all day every day. Or I go to the other extreme and don't talk to anyone at all. And then I get lonely. But texting leaves me lonely as soon as the convo ends. So I don't know what's better- letting myself text people all the time or letting myself become a recluse. And in the end, I know. Neither is really necessary. Neither is really healthy. And neither will provide real fulfillment. But thankfully, I'm learning to cope. I've gained discipline in my life. I don't have to have someone to text when I'm home. I don't feel like I need a relationship somewhere else to help me not lose my mind. Maturity is coming. But that doesn't mean I still don't long for a friend.
In the mean time, as I grow, forgive me if I text you relentlessly some days, or jump on the opportunity to participate in the dreaded facebook chat. I'm still learning...